I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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