I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
