i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
