we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
