remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
