were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
