just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
