you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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