were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
