so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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