And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
