I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize