Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
