just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
