Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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