Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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