East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
