Kiss
Puke
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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