yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
