You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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