Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
