the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
