Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My balls are so social today.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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