I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
