is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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