i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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