i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
