sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
