Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
