he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
