She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
