he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
