My hand turned me down
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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