you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
