i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
