Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
