im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
