There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
