So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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