Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
