I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
