I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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