So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
