Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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