I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
