Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
