I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
