Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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