An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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