I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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