Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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