if you like me you must not know who I am
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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