Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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