College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
